What would I like to be doing? There are so many thing I want to do, things that I used to do or have wanted to do, but at this time, I am not certain. It seems as I have arrived at a place of isolation to the life of research and academics and it is all I know right now. But not for long. I am on the up and up! 🙂
Well… it is not as bad as it seems…but in a sense, I really am quitting. After much deliberation – about a years worth, I decided to stop working towards a masters degree at this time. It is quite a long story, and those very close to me know more than enough of it. From one angle, it may seem silly as I am very close to being done with an intensive masters degree from one of the top research universities in the World, but from another angle; one that is more important to me, I am a World apart from what I have been pouring my energy and attention into while being a world apart from what I would like to be doing. My heart is not in this, or in the direction that pirsuing this further will take me. I also fear that I have ignored the signs that I normally would have listened to, but also did what I normally would have done when things get tough – pushed through them. I am done pushing and realize that it is ok to change my direction and trust God to show me what I am to do.
The best thing about it, I am filled with peace about the decision.